Aashiq Banadiye Aapne

Info - 08/01/07 : This post was orginally called 'Aashiq Banadiye Aapne', later changed to 'Of Wolf and Himesh' and now is again called 'Aashiq Banadiye Aapne'.

The last September, I and Krish were working on our project related work. While traveling to his house I overheard some song which kept me haunting until I went to his house. I hummed the tune before him and soon Krish recognized it. Seems the name of the song is ‘Tere Bin’ from the Bollywood flick ‘Aashiq Banaya Aapne’. Some time from then, we eventually happened to watch that movie.

A few days later, all of us friends were getting back from the college in a 7-Seater. The autowallah turned on his audio system and the song was ‘Aashiq Banaya Aapne’. Music Director – Himesh Reshammiya.

Oh. Good one.

A few more days and for the love of apna Hyderabadi Hema Chandra I started watching a program on Zee TV, which boasts itself to be the ‘Original Singing Competition’ and ‘Musical Mahayudh’. Sa Re Ga Ma Pa was its name. And one of the judges in it was none other than Himesh Reshammiya.

Oh. Pretty famous, this guy is.

Slowly, more than a music competition, it turned out to be a soap. The judges were the leading actors. The participants were the upcoming actors. The audiences were the supporting actors. The crew members of the program were the film makers, the less significant ones. And we, who watched it on the TV, were the fools.

Perfect.

Something was consistently wrong with the entire scene. Himesh bhai did everything except judging. Kissing the participants on their foreheads, commenting, walking out of the program, giving off caps and scarves saying he was ‘sentimental’ and 'superstitious' was what he was being paid for. To my utter shock, one of my friends enlightened me that 30 more movies of this ‘Rocking’ music director were soon going to be released late this year.

Yikees!!

A few days ago, I turned on the television, and I saw the ad of a two-wheeler, Bajaj Platina, with the background song “Jhalak Dikhlaja”. Music Director – Himesh Bhai.

Immediately I change the channel. For the heck of it, it was a news channel and there I see him again, being interviewed. Himesh. Says he doesn’t copy ‘anyone’ (‘anyone’ is the legendary Nusrath Fateh Ali Khan!!!) and he adopts an ‘own’ style of (nasal) singing.

Now it’s Channel V. A group of sparingly dressed models were dancing to some typical Bollywood remix beat. Interesting. Out of nowhere, like a crab which comes out from its hole emerges our none-other-than Himesh Bhai from that group of dancers singing (moaning) some stupid moan.

Yesterday, I was in a local eatery and as soon as I entered, it was a thumping beat that I heard and it’s Himesh AGAIN!! Later we (I + some friends) were in a Hindi cinema and without any shock, I saw Himesh Bhai’s name in the titles again. No matter what kind of a song it is – romantic, sad, tragic, comical, devotional, happy going – the singer is the one and only Nasal Bhai.

Today, while getting back to my house from a local shop, the autowallah switched on his ten thousand watt only-treble audio system and it was ‘Bhai’ AGAIN!!! On top of it, the tape played a bit faster than usual and his voice sucked better than ever.

Now this is a huge problem. This guy is entering into my life neither with my interest or his interest. His best buddy in that same genre of film killing is our Smooching Sweetheart Emran Hashmi.There’s something that terribly goes wrong with me when I hear/watch anything related to Himmesh Reshammiya and Emran Hashmi or only Himmesh or only Emran.

When I listen to a track composed by Himmesh,

1) I muse… “Why can’t this guy sing atleast like me?”
2) I get into a profound depression.
3) I lose my senses.
4) All the self-composed, self-sung songs by him sound like graveyard moans.
5) I get scared.
6) I wonder why I ever get into such a moment of life.
7) I feel like tearing the screen (or) breaking the television.
8) I feel like a low class, good-for-nothing soul.
9) The surroundings get dark.
10) No good news can lift my spirits for a day.

11)I can only imagine Emran as the hero for that song.

If it’s Emran:

1) I loose interest in living.
2) Profound Depression - Part 2.
3) I loose all the hope and trust in relationships.
4) I start to believe that love never exists.
5) And that every person around me has a double-faced existence.
6) My eyes redden.
7) Dope + booze + fag + sleaze sex = Life.
8) I doubt all the ethical values and principles of life that one believes in.

10)I blindly believe that the song has been composed by Himesh.

Please God, save bollywood. Emran bhai and Himmesh bhai. Please.

Currently Listening to: The barking dog outside the compound. Feeling Better.